Emotional intelligence is about “self-awareness”. Self awareness, enables us to be in control of our emotions, for example, we understand our emotional triggers which allows us to consider whether our responses are motivated by emotion or rational, logic. Not only does emotional intelligence give us more clarity over ourselves but it increases our empathy for others. Most conflicts arise from miscommunications. A good friend of mine once boldly stated that she thought “self-awareness” would change the world and the more I think of it, I think she’s right. Talent Smart, who tested the emotional intelligence of over 1 million people found a list of 9 things that emotionally intelligent people won’t do.
Remembering failure erodes self-confidence and makes it hard to believe you’ll be successful in the future. Emotionally intelligent people recognise that success lies in their ability to rise in the face of failure. Success means risk taking and you can’t allow belief of failure to stop you from taking chances on yourself.
Fixating on problems means, you prolong anxiety and stress, which undermines performance and your ability to think rationally. When you focus on actions to better yourself and/or circumstances, you create a sense of self power which creates positive emotions and improves productivity. Emotionally intelligent people won’t dwell on problems because they know they’re most effective when they focus on solutions.
This means emotionally intelligent people do not compare themselves to others. They recognise their own achievements and self worth and do not allow any external influence to dent their happiness. This crucially means that no matter what happens externally, their happiness comes from within and is unfettered by anyone around them.
Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, they don’t waste time or energy prolonging negative emotions but they never forget. Emotionally intelligent people won’t allow the mistakes of others to hold them back and as such they will not give wrongdoers a second chance.
Emotionally intelligent people are not driven by their ego. They know which battles really matter. If a battle is being fought for emotional/egotistical reasons – then they will take no issues with backing down.
Emotionally intelligent people don’t focus on perfection because they know it doesn’t exist. Instead, they enjoy their path to success and focus on what really matters not the small details.
The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Learning to let go of a grudge will not only make you feel better now but can also improve your health.
Toxic people are those who, due to their own issues, drain the energy of those around them. They take the form of complainers, competitors, narcissists, self-pityers and many more. Emotionally intelligent people realise success is a culture and only choose to surround themselves with people who focus on solutions not problems.
Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, and depression. Saying no is a major challenge for most people. However “No” is a powerful word emotionally intelligent people are not afraid to use it. Saying no to a new commitment honours existing commitments, giving you the time to successfully fulfill them.
Image curtesy of Image Flow on Shutterstock
Leila is PCA’s Head Editor and Researcher. She holds a 1st class Law with Business degree and became a published author at 25. Former crime investigator turned business journalist. On a mission to show businesses that presenteeism is a thing of the past. Everything seems impossible until it’s done. Typically found working from a white beach in South-East Asia embracing rapidly changing technology.