How to practice patience

patience

We all want instant gratification. We have all forgotten about patience.

In today’s fast-paced society where everything can be at our fingertips in seconds, waiting seems like such an outdated concept. Except that it’s not. It’s arguably one of the most important characteristics of a successful career and life. We can’t get immediate results in the gym and we can’t become successful overnight.

The most important things require patience.

So in light of that truth, maybe it’s time we slow down and practice, patience. It is, after all, a necessity.

1. Start practising patience

The best way to practice patience is to make yourself wait. Sounds hard but it does pay off. A study published in Psychological Science shows that waiting for things actually makes us happier. Start with something small like waiting a few extra minutes to eat your breakfast or eating your dinner, then move on to something bigger. You will start to train yourself to be better at patience.

2. Remove from your day what isn’t important 

We all have things in our lives that take time away from what is important. So, one way to get more of what we want quicker is to remove the things that are not important. Take a few minutes and evaluate your week. Look at your schedule from the moment you wake up to when you sleep. Take out two or three things that are time wasting but take time. This can be anything from scrolling on social media to spending time worrying.

3. Know your triggers 

Sometimes certain tasks can trigger our impatience. If we know we need to spend more time on something due to our lack of knowledge or skills we are more likely to get frustrated when it takes more time. It is better to be mindful of what makes us impatient. Write them down. This will help you deal with your impatience before it strikes you unexpectedly. Impatience is ok, it just means you really want something. Learn to accept it, deal with it and don’t let it remove your focus from what is important.

4. Breathe 

Most of all, just stay calm and focus on your breathing. It sounds simple but it is often overlooked. Taking slow deep breaths can help calm the mind and body. This is the easiest way to help ease any impatient feelings you are immediately experiencing. If you want to take it a step further

If breathing doesn’t help I find taking a walk to clear your head The point is to find some time for you each day to let go of all the frustrations.

Lifes frustrations have a way of creeping in on us without us realising. Give importance to your mental health. Give time to letting go of your stressors.

Is self-doubt part of our process

self-doubt

The one mistake you can make is believing that self-doubt is a part of your process.

Spending time thinking that your work isn’t good enough, isn’t part of the journey. It’s a travesty.

Here are all the reasons why self-doubt is ruining your career and how to stop it

1. You’re not respecting the journey

If you are making mistakes, early on or when starting out in a new environment, don’t beat yourself down. It’s always hard hearing criticism but it’s not as hard overcoming them. If you could have done something better, hold your hands up. Promise to do it better next time and move on with your life. You would never judge a young person for mistakes in their grammar. Why? Because they are just learning. So, give yourself the same respect.

2. Every outcome you have achieved has come from practice not, self-doubt

Remember that time when you got really lost in self-doubt and then because of that you smashed your work the next day? Exactly, because that never happens. Your best outcomes are based on your repetitions and on your hard work. It has absolutely nothing to do with your self-doubt.

3. Self-doubt makes you rely on confirmation bias

When you lack confidence in your work and stew in self-doubt, you can’t help but feel a little guilty because you know it’s so completely and utterly counter-productive.  So, instead, to justify your self-doubt hole, you start to gather all of the evidence you can to support the fact that you are a failure…!

This is very easy to do but also very destructive – why would anyone in their right mind try to focus on their negatives to better themselves.

Instead, do what your gut is telling you to do.

Stop focusing on the negatives and start fact-finding about your positives. Remember every one of your achievements and wear them with enough pride that it melts all your self-doubt away.

4. Self-doubt ruins your rationality

Think about that spiral of self-doubt.

Think about how quickly it transpires out of control. Making you feel a myriad of uncontrollable negative emotions. One minute you’re fine and then the next, well, you’re doubting the point of your existence. Does that sound rational to you?

Well, that’s because self-doubt is highly irrational thinking based on fears.

Think of self-doubt as the rapper over the sound of your anxious beating heart. It’s just meaningless words, based on how your body/mind feels at that time. It doesn’t make it true.

Try to be objective when you feel an attack of self-doubt. Imagine it was happening to your friend. Step out of your own thoughts and advise your “friend”. There’s no way you would encourage them and say “continue with all this self-doubt, it’s great”.

Well, that’s exactly what you should be saying to yourself too.

So enough is enough, forget the self-doubt. Just concentrate on being the best version of you.

 

 

10 health benefits of daily yoga

yoga

Practising Yoga is said to come with many benefits for both mental and physical health but there are so many more reasons why Yoga is a great addition to your life.

Your mind is one of the most important assets and properly looking after it, will help you to get through those tough curve balls in life. Saying that to be super efficient at facing life’s many challenges you need both mental and physical strength

There are many benefits I can list but first I am going to talk about the main benefits which are scientifically proven.

Stress

Yoga is known for its ability to reduce stress and promote relaxation. Multiple studies have demonstrated that yoga decreases the secretion of cortisol the dominant stress hormone and after a three-month program woman had significantly reduced stress, anxiety and have had improved quality of life and mental health.

Improves heart health

The American heart association has shown that heart attacks, high blood pressure, and diabetes are increasingly more frequent in young people notably women. A review of different studies made in the European journal of preventive cardiology said that yoga can help as much as a traditional workout the even show that who practised lowered their blood pressure and cholesterol. Is just about movement.

Mental health

Yoga allows you to be “in your body”, it helps you connect with yourself.  Many poses can have a mood-boosting effect like camel pose, pigeon pose and legs up which literally open your heart and help you find.new perspectives.

Improves the quality of life

Yoga is turning into an adjunct therapy to improve quality of life for many people. Studies have shown how yoga can help to prevent nausea, vomiting, mood swings and fatigue. It also diminishes anxiety and depression with cancer patients.

Flexibility and balance

Many people have overcome injuries by increasing their range of motion with yoga. But flexibility not only helps with injuries but with joint pain. With a few weeks of practice, you’ll start to notice pain to go away. Tight hips can strain the knee joints due to improper alignment. Inflexibility in muscles and connective tissue can cause poor posture and back pains.

Your head is a big, round, heavy ball and when it aligns directly to an erect spine, it takes less work for your neck and back to support it.

Yoga also regularly increases proprioception [ ability to feel what your body is doing]. People with dysfunctional movement patterns usually have low proprioception. Better balance could mean fewer falls and less body pain.

Let just look at one more benefit, this one is not scientific but is as valid as the rest.

Awareness for transformation: Self-awareness makes easier to break free of destructive emotions like anger. Yoga appears to reduce anger by increasing feelings of compassion and interconnection and by calming the nervous system and the mind.

Just believing you will get better can make you better. Some might call it placebo effect and say it doesn’t count but the mind is the most powerful tool you can have.

So, if you haven’t yet tried yoga, what are you waiting for?

7 steps to know if you really hate your job

job

Often people will think that they absolutely hate their jobs, but when you dig a little deeper, there are almost always aspects that they do actually enjoy.

The danger is that when you feel negative about something you can get so absorbed in the negative aspects – you stop yourself from seeing the light. This can be a slippery slope to what career strategist Zoeb calls job depression. It gets so bad that people can wake up each morning, dreading the day ahead of us.

If we step back from this negative spiral would we really want to crush our own happiness? The answer is almost always, no. So, the only thing we can do is ensure we are taking a realistic view on our work otherwise the issue can spiral out of control.

Below are 7 simple steps to identify if you really do hate your job or if actually, it’s not that bad!

1. Take stock of how you think about your job

If a family member or someone you respected was to ask you “Do you like your job?” Think about how you would answer? Would you break down and cry or would your few moans actually seem quite insignificant?

2. Become self-aware

Is your job making you feel down in the dumps? Do you generally moan to friends and family about all of the things you hate about your job?

3. Make a list of all the things you like about your job

 Take your time and really think about what tasks you like doing. Is everything really that bad?

4. Make peace with the fact that no one job will be perfect!

Accept that there may be tasks that you don’t love that come with the territory. But, will they go after a few more years experience? What solutions can you find to make them better?

5. Create your own work diary

Make a list of each task you do every day for two weeks and rate every task out of 10. At the end of the two weeks, you should have an accurate, rational representation of your job.

6. Consider what your unique skills are

Does your job allow you to use these skills? Does your job allow you to develop?

7. By the end of this process you should be able to identify one of three things:

  1. you actually quite like a lot of your job, it’s just that you were focusing on all the bad bits
  2. there are some aspects of your job that suit you but there are more negatives than positives
  3. you really are in the wrong job because you dislike more than 70%of the tasks you do

If you find yourself with options 2 or 3 then it’s time to start looking at a new career path. Read this helpful blog here if you find yourself in that position. If however, you find yourself aligning more with option 1, then you may be able to make your job work for you by focusing on the tasks you really enjoy and looking for resolutions to resolve the parts that you don’t enjoy!

How to beat fatigue

boredom

Sometimes, we can live the healthiest of lifestyles (or so we believe!) and yet we are still plagued by fatigue.

Fatigue is one step further than tiredness. It’s defined as extreme tiredness. It’s the type of exhaustion that can cloud your judgement, make you fall asleep on the train and typically make every task feel like a total drain.

On the positive side – there are some very simple lifestyle tweaks that can be made to rid yourself of fatigue, for good.

Many of the items on this list, may seem to easy to be true but they are proven time and time again to be the underlying cause of extreme tiredness.

1. Eliminate sugar and processed or packaged foods.

Eat a candy bar and your energy will usually plummet soon after. Sugar and other refined carbohydrates give you a little shot of energy, but at a huge expense. In reality, we are eating sugar to feel the euphoria for around 5 minutes max (usually less) in return for feeling drained for hours afterwards. If you find it too hard to eliminate sugar, try swapping it for fruits, like berries or apples. And if you need something heavier, swap biscuits or cakes for nuts like almonds or peanuts. If you feel a bit lost on which types of foods have added sugars or refined carbs try to keep away from anything in a package, food closest to its natural state i.e a jacket potato before it becomes a chip or a bowl of porridge before its a flapjack – is what you should be aiming for.

2. Reduce or eliminate caffeine and alcohol.

Sometimes, eliminating caffeine is incredibly difficult especially if you are somewhat dependant on it now. But, what will feel like suffering for the first two days you cut it out will turn into a lifetime of happiness. Coffee much like sugar gives you energy for the first hour but then leaves you feeling totally zapped afterwards.  Alcohol does the same too. It may calm your nerves for a short time, but will certainly leave you feeling drained or mentally foggy a few hours later.

3. Get 7 – 9 hours of sleep nightly.

The National Sleep Foundation recommends adults get seven to nine hours of sleep per night. Some questions you can ask yourself to see if you are not sleeping enough include: Does it take me a long time to fall asleep? Do I wake up often or am I restless? Do I feel sleepy when driving? Do I need caffeine to get through the day? Answer, “yes,” to any of these indicates you may not be getting enough quality sleep. Whilst sleep is another topic in itself if you do think you are not getting the quality sleep you need – its time to take action because a good nights sleep can dramatically improve your quality of life.

4. Exercise.

Spending hours at the gym isn’t doing your chronic fatigue levels any good – remember overexercising can be a culprit of chronic fatigue syndrome. The most effective way to exercise and increase your energy is through the high-intensity interval training (HIIT). These short, intense “bursts” give you a full workout in little time. Or if you find HITT too much try 30 minutes max of cardio combined with max 15 minutes of light bodyweight exercises, these can range from abs to squats. One thing is for sure – with the right amount of exercise you can significantly increase your energy levels.

5. Find ways to relax and reset your mind.

For some people, taking 20 minutes during the afternoon to meditate can be enough to recharge. Maybe yoga or deep breathing is your thing. Whatever you do, you must find time to relax and reset your mind.

For me, the best thing to clear my mind is a walk in nature – nature can be just alongside trees. This is a great way for me to start feeling the small release, I need, to get on with my day.

Chronic fatigue can impair your health and happiness, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. While it may take some time, and some small or large lifestyle changes, you can get your energy back and reclaim your health and wellbeing if you are dedicated to doing so.

How to cope with modern day uncertainty

uncertainty

Modern society is plagued with uncertainty from market crashes and Brexit, to the day-to-day turbulence of most white collar professions, nothing is known. This might be fine if we were not lumbered with a now redundant brain disposition, gifted from our ancestors, meaning we feel an overwhelming sense of caution and fear, when in unfamiliar territory. Obviously, we see the benefits of this brain mechanism for our cavemen ancestors. However, now it simply serves to cause grief and hinder our business in a world where uncertainty rules and important decisions must be made every day with minimal information.

So, it’s time to beat our vulnerability towards uncertainty

Why?

The most successful people are able to override this mechanism against fear of uncertainty and shift their thinking in a rational direction. This process requires emotional intelligence (EQ), and it unsurprisingly follows that 90% of top performers have high EQs and they earn an average of $28,000 more per year than their low-EQ counterparts do.

To boost your EQ, you have to get good at making sound decisions in the face of uncertainty, even when your brain fights against this. How on earth can you do this? Well, read below to find proven strategies that you can use to improve the quality of your decisions when your emotions are clouding your judgment!

1. They quiet their limbic systems

The limbic system responds to uncertainty with a knee-jerk fear reaction of fear. Fear inhibits good decision-making. People who are good at dealing with uncertainty are wary of this fear and spot it as soon as it begins to surface. In this way, they stop their judgement from being clouded at the most crucial moments. Once they are aware of the fear, they can objectively remove all of the irrational thoughts that arise. Allowing them to focus more accurately and rationally on the information before them. Throughout the process, they remind themselves that a primitive part of their brain is trying to take over the rational part. This allows them to stay in the game by telling their limbic systems to “Shhhhh!”.

2. They stay positive

Positive thoughts quiet fear and irrational thinking by focusing your brain’s attention on something that is your ‘happy place’. Any positive thought will do to refocus your attention. When things are going well and your mood is good, this is relatively easy. but, when you’re stressing over a tough decision and your mind is flooded with negative thoughts, this can be a real challenge. In these moments, think about one time in your life that made you immensely happy, no matter how small. No matter what it is, so long as you focus on the positive.

3. They know what they knowand what they don’t

When uncertainty makes a decision difficult, it’s easy to feel as if everything is uncertain, but that’s never usually the case. People who excel at managing uncertainty don’t lose perspective on what they know and what they don’t know. They gather all the facts they have, do their best to recognise what they don’t know. Identifying as many of the unknown things as possible takes away their power.

4. They embrace that which they can’t control

We all like to be in control. But this desire for control can backfire. Living in today’s uncertain world means you have to know when to let go. Successful people live in the real world. They don’t paint any situation as better or worse than it actually is, and they analyse the facts for what they are. If they don’t know something, they fess up to it and they don’t let themselves live in hear of it. Don’t be afraid to step up and say, “Here’s what we don’t know, but we’re going forward based on what we do know. We may make mistakes, but that’s a lot better than standing still.”

5. They focus only on what matters

Some decisions can make or break your company. Most just aren’t that important. The people who are the best at making decisions in the face of uncertainty don’t waste their time getting stuck on decisions where the biggest risk is looking foolish in front of their co-workers. When it comes down to it, almost every decision contains at least a small factor of uncertainty—it’s an inevitable part of doing business and of life. Learning to properly balance the many decisions on your plate and decide which ones actually matter allows you to focus your energy on the things that do matter.

6. They don’t seek perfection

Emotionally intelligent people don’t set perfection because they know there’s no such thing as a perfect decision in an uncertain situation. Think about it: human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure, and you end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently, instead of enjoying what you were able to achieve. This downward look at all of your outcomes will burst your confidence. So always look at the positives after your decisions and don’t strive to do the impossible.

Proven tactics to handle any challenge at work

challenge

It’s normal to feel nervous when taking on a new and unfamiliar challenge. Whilst feelings of anxiety are uncomfortable, without them we do not grow.

The butterflies we feel attacking our stomach turn into our seeds of success. So, the next time you think of running away from a daunting, professional challenge think twice –  because that situation could fast track you to your goals.

1. Take some time to get used to the challenge 

When you are first confronted with a new challenge, it can all seem daunting. You panic, you can’t think straight and you might even start sweating. This is ultimate panic mode. The only thing you want to be doing, when panic strikes, is taking a step back. So, take a break, a walk or ask for some time to think things over. Whatever you do, you must take time to grow accustomed to the problem. Once the initial shock wears off your creative mind will come into action but this can only happen if you give yourself time.

2. Cut to the heart of the issue 

What exactly is it that you have to do? Break down the problem, to such an extent, that you can explain to your mate at the pub. You should boil it down to the bare bones so that there is absolute clarity over what you have to do. Keep asking questions to really get to the root of the problem. Explaining the problem to others is a proven way of resolving the problem for yourself.

3. Put things into perspective

No matter how awfully terrifying the challenge in front of you may seem, you may rest assured that someone else has been through the same thing. It is important to realise how your situation compares to the rest of what you are doing, and how bad it really is compared to all the good things in your life. Plus, think about all of the even bigger challenges ahead. If you can handle this you will reap the rewards, so sit tight and start to embrace the wild ride.

4. Divide the challenge into smaller pieces

That one big challenge you’ve just been confronted with is usually a combination of smaller challenges that require small steps and easy solutions. Write everything down. Break the challenge into small chunks. Under each chunk, write your proposed resolution. As you go through these steps you’ll slowly turn your focus to the solutions instead of being obsessed by the problem.

5. See the positive 

This challenge has been bestowed onto you, to allow you to grow. You are very lucky to have this kind of professional development in your path and you should do your best to make use of it. The most successful people in life, take on challenges like most of us take on tea or coffee during the day. These challenges and scary situations are what allows them to reach new peaks of success. So, don’t hold back and do your best. Your future self will thank you.

 

Small daily tweaks to make big happiness gains

happiness

Happiness is influenced by our actions.

We can choose to live in a way that makes us feel happy, or not.

But, the reality is, we get too caught up everyday day life, to sit back and cultivate our happiness.

For example, travelling makes me happy but, can I do that every day? Not right now. So, does that mean I am subjected to a life of depression? Of course not.

Luckily, for you and I, there are some simple tweaks – that can significantly boost our daily happiness.

1. Write a “control pad”

Write a paragraph, in your note pad, on how you honestly feel about your present place in life – cover work, love and family alongside anything else important to you. Below that write three things that are within your control to change in the next 6 months.

2. Take a warm bath with your favourite scent 

“You time” is crucial to your happiness and overall wellbeing. Even if it’s just 20 minutes, take it and protect it with your life. Your mental health relies on it.

3. Wake up ten minutes earlier and drink your tea or coffee slower than usual

Try to do this facing a window, preferably with daylight and take in your morning without rushing or flooding it with nervous energy.

4. Cook your favourite dish for lunch or dinner

Cooking food can be very therapeutic. If you don’t enjoy cooking, as much as others, maybe involve your friend, partner or children to make it more fun. However you decide to cook, the end result of eating delicious food will certainly boost your happiness.

5. Drink one more cup of water than you usually do

Instead of reaching for a coffee to help you break through the afternoon slump, drink a glass of water, you’ll be shocked at how energised you will feel after.

6. Write down your favourite quote and frame it 

Recognise words that motivate and inspire you. Use these words as your mantra. Reading your favourite quote, each day, will help you to stay on track with your personal goals and also remind you why you are pursuing them.

7. Learn one new thing a day

This doesn’t have to be huge. It can be something as small as an animal fact (if you want to learn more about animals!). Try to point your daily learning towards a large concept that interests you, this way all your learning will have a purpose.

8. Accomplish one small goal a day that’s dedicated to personal development

This can be anything from reading more personal development literature, exercising more or start meditating. Whatever your personal development goal, make sure you start chipping away at it, each and every day.

9. Spend at least 20 minutes walking outside, per day 

Nature is mother natures remedy for stress. Just simply looking at trees can make you feel more at ease and peaceful. So make sure you spend at least 20 minutes per day, in green nature to feel the benefits.

10. Give something back 

This can go from complimenting a colleague to taking on a young mentor. Either way, make sure that you acknowledge the fact, that the world isn’t all about you and give something back.

11. Look at old photos and reflect on how much you’ve grown and changed over the years

It’s always nice to see how far you’ve come. Really study yourself and learn about how you have grown. Remember what it was like to be you all of those years ago. Were your worries ever necessary? What have you learnt?

12. Give yourself five reasons why you’re glad to be alive

This allows you to stay grateful and humble. Two things integral to our happiness.

13. Sit in a dark room and do absolutely nothing for 15 minutes

During this time try to focus on your breathing and take yourself to your happy place. It’s worrying how much our digital distractions destroy our inner peace.

14. Create a bucket list of all the things you want to do before you turn a certain age

This will challenge you to seek new experiences, dream boldly, and stop holding yourself back. Hold yourself accountable to this list.

15. Reach out to a few people you admire

Tell them how your life has changed for the better because of them. This helps you to understand the value of others and the importance of a strong network. It also helps you to solidify existing relationships.

 

How to stop negative thoughts, once and for all

happiness

Did you know that according to the National Science Foundation, the average person has around 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thoughts, 80% are negative.

All negative thoughts are not bad. Remember at one point, to our cavemen ancestors, they had a significant value. primitive humans would survive through their pre-dispositions to fear and threats. But now, if our negative thoughts are not nipped in the bud, this pre-disposition to view the world as “a glass half empty” can suck the enjoyment out of our everyday life. Being alert can help you to survive but most negative thoughts, in today’s world, are useless. They only create imaginary drama in your mind and it’s time to stop them.

Here is a simple three stage technique to help you stop your negative thoughts, once and for all.

Step 1

Take out a piece of paper or bring up the note pad on your phone or laptop.

Step 2

List every negative thought you have in that exact moment.

Once you’ve noted everything down, dig a little deeper. Really unpick where your negative thoughts are coming from. More often than not, they will be linked to past negative experiences you’ve failed to move on from, or from deep seeded insecurities. Issues that need to be drawn to your conscious surface, considered and then stopped in their tracks. Even if your negative thought is about someone else irritating you, it’s often a reflection of something inside of you, something you’re sensitive to and don’t like seeing in others. So dig deep.

Step 3

Make a separate list or another column and next to each negative thought, counteract it with at least one positive thought. This process will help your mind to re-frame the negative thoughts, in a more positive light. This re-framing is the ultimate goal. If you can get into the habit of reframing negative thoughts, naturally, then they won’t be an issue.

Shifting perspective sounds easy. But it’s not. It takes practice and dedication but, soon enough, you will start to view things in a more positive light, permanently.

Remember, your thoughts become words. Watch what narrative you give to your own life story. Do you want to live inside of a thriller or even a horror novel, constantly in anxiety or fear? Or would you rather a story, filled with happiness, challenge and triumph. You are the author of your own story, you are in control. Remember this, and take action. Or you run the risk of your negative thoughts, stealing your pen and writing your life story.

Try to do this exercise once a day and see how much it can help you.

The efficient trick of honouring sadness

sadness

We are told time and time again that focusing on the “good” is the best way to deal with depression or sadness.

However, this does not mean that we should suppress sadness in order to only focus on the good. In fact, we should treat feelings of sadness with the same respect we give to happiness. We should honour sadness.

Many people put pressure on themselves to be happy all the time. This is not realistic. Life is not a happy cartoon. Distracting yourself, or even ignoring sadness only makes it worse. Sadness can actually be beneficial if you deal with it correctly.

Why honouring sadness is good for you

1) Feeling sadness is the only thing that helps release it

Much like any suppressed feelings, you can only push them down for a short period of time before they shoot to the surface, at the most inconvenient time.

Instead, bringing a spirit of curiosity and compassion to sadness lets you explore feelings without getting stuck in them. Become your own detective, think about why you feel sad and just feel it.

Notice where the sadness is in your body. You might feel chest aches, heaviness on your shoulders or tears. Accept these feelings and let them rise to the surface.

2) Unpick the sadness 

Think about back to when you started to feel sad. Is there anything familiar about this feeling? Is it triggered by something in particular? What early life experiences felt similar? Start to increase your self-awareness around why you feel sad and this is a sure way for you to understand how to cope with it.

3) Invite Them In

What would you do if you allowed yourself to just be really sad? What would your day look like? Ho much would you cry? What movies would you watch? Would you sleep? What would you be in your pyjamas? If you let yourself just breakdown, would it help? What would you be thinking? Or doing? Even if you can’t take a sick day, or literally have the sadness breakdown you believe you’re on the brink of having, imagine if you did. Don’t live in fear of your sadness.

4) Get creative 

Emotion unlocks art and creativity that our rational mind tries to keep muted. It’s a great time to explore what you really have broiling under your veneer of reason. Use this time to write, draw or play an instrument. Do whatever skill takes your fancy or whichever you have a natural flair – just make sure you do something.

5) Be kind to yourself 

Often we can make ourselves feel a whole lot worse by our reactions to sadness. Thoughts such as “this is pathetic”, “I need to be stronger” or “Just snap out of it” – are particularly problematic – you are not a robot. Embrace your humanity. Just like being kind to others in their time of need we should equally be kind to ourselves. Not only does kindness make us feel better in the moment but it also helps us to deal with the sadness in a more efficient way. Instead of encouraging us to surpess feelings of sadness it encourages us to accept them.

The absolute best way to deal with sadness is to honour it and who knows, you may find something beautiful at the end of your blue tunnel.

 

 

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