Expert backed confidence hacks

confidence

A lack of confidence finishes more dreams than failure, ever could.

Confidence is not indicative of skill, it’s merely an enabler. You can be the most suitable candidate for a role, on paper, but without confidence, you can’t portray this as well as you’d like.

We all have our issues with confidence so, here are some expert supported ways to keep your confidence levels up when you next need a boost.

Refer to yourself in the third person

This might seem odd, but recent research has shown that if you refer to yourself, in the third person, during self-talk (for example your inner pep talk before a presentation) it can make a big difference to your confidence.

The trick here is to use he, she or your name to distance yourself from a terrifying situation. For example, instead of saying, “I am about to deliver a presentation” try saying,  “Angela is about to deliver a presentation.” In other words, see yourself as the observer.

According to the researchers, this type of self-distancing helps you see nerve-wracking moments as challenges, rather than threats. Resulting in you feeling an instant alleviation and confidence boost.

Overcome imposter syndrome

You have the job, the certificates, even the awards but you’re still worried about being called out, as a fraud.

You are not the only one. Many of us suffer from imposter syndrome. Interestingly, this is known as the syndrome of high achievers. Those who set the bar low simply do not care much about the quality of their work.

To overcome the inner imposter syndrome, remind yourself of your achievements. Write a list of your personal successes. Can all of that list just be a coincidence or luck? I think not, it’s time to recognise your value.

Work out

Your body needs exercise. We were not created to be sedentary. Even a simple stretch, power pose or walking, helps.

Practicing physical activity allows you to stay in touch with your body, raises your energy levels and releases more endorphins. You are happy after you work out, so it’s worth the hard work and pain. This process is quite reflective of how we reach our goals – working out makes you more target driven and tenacious when it comes to goal setting.

Before you go to an important meeting, interview, or any other stress-inducing situation, do a little workout, stretch or strike a simple power pose and make yourself feel more comfortable.

Visualise your success

Visualisation is a critical part of achieving any goal. It’s hard to be confident when you don’t know what you’re aiming for. Your future success just doesn’t seem real.

Close your eyes and start seeing your success as a reality. Picture how you’ll get there. Picture how you walk, stand and even dress. Try to engage all five senses in it. How does it feel and smell, what do you hear, who are the people around you, what do they wear? Every little detail matters. For better results, take a piece of paper and write everything down, or even draw it. Do what works for you but most importantly get visualising.

Meditate

Meditation helps you to become more self-aware. Get to know your low confidence triggers, find ways to be more at peace with yourself. After a good meditation, weak confidence seems like a distant dream based on tiredness and stress. When you really put your mind to it, you see confidence as a very small issue.

Meditation is a tool to inspect your daily thoughts and become more self-aware about your own thought process. It helps you to nip limiting self-talk in the bud, and encourages you to create a new, loving and compassionate self.

Get comfortable with failure

No one likes to fail, but failure is the best indicator of your progress. If you’re serious about getting confident, then you need to get comfortable with failure, as it will be your best teacher.

There is no easy way to do this, but according to Peter Guber, you can fail faster. Fix your mistake, as soon as you realise it and learn how to avoid it in the future.

 

 

 

The best ways to fake it till you make it

fake it

You’re told time and time again to fake it till you make it, and what initially sounds quite absurd actually makes sense. Some 70% of people report feeling like a fraud at work. If you’re not careful you can give opportunities away to the more confident 30% simply down to your lack of confidence.

Therefore, the “fake it till you make it” advice, is a safety protocol, saving you from yourself, until you realise your own worth.

So, here are eight ways to fake it till you make it.

1. Remember your past success.

If you’re deliberating about whether you are good enough to take up a new opportunity then you need to think of your wins. Think of everything you’ve done to get where you are. Write it down if that helps, just make sure it’s fresh in your mind and ready to remember when you need it most.

2. Surround yourself with people who reinforce you.

We can’t do everything ourselves. Make sure in your life you are surrounded by people who believe in you. Limit your interactions with toxic people, in so far as is possible. Make sure that you have enough genuine love and support towards your goals. Without this, it’s very hard to get by on a very low day. This can be anyone, family, friends even coworkers.

3. Exercise 

Exercise is a confidence-boosting natural drug. Before a high-stress situation such as an interview or presentation sweat it out. Put your power music on and don’t stop till you hurt. Not only does it help you to build your confidence by flushing happy endorphins through your brain but it helps you to mentally focus and not get so sidetracked by worries or fears.

4. Don’t forget your bigger picture 

Have faith that you are on the right path. Nobody is perfect and you are here to learn. So, if you feel out of your depths, think about everything you have done before and how capable you are. Think about your journey, where you want to be and how close every new challenge will take to your goals. Instead of feeling fear, feel gratefulness.

5. Give what you want to receive.

Validate other people and in turn, validate yourself. When Derek Doepker, the author of Why You’re Stuck, began his journey, he felt like a fraud. His answer was to identify a role model He researched authors, podcasters and bloggers who resonated with him. Go and tell them how much they mean to you – he advises, and it helps you find your own worth in the process.

6. Never let ’em see you feel like a fraud.

Typically, when we exhibit equanimity and confidence, it makes the situation much better. Think about how awkward it is to watch a nervous speaker? Think about how strange it feels to have an unsure leader? No matter what, do what it takes to fake it till you make it. Remember feeling like a fraud is normal and every scary moment will pass. Just give your best performance regardless of how you feel inside. Make people think you can handle it.

 

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