Firstly a disclaimer; sometimes what other people think is good for us to hear.
We can’t sail through life, critic free. And if we did we wouldn’t grow.
The key is to take on board other peoples opinions when it matters.
Take on what other people think when they matter.
This dynamic will typically take place between you and one other you trust or you and your boss.
But even, if it’s your boss you have to believe they are being fair. For example, if it’s too personal and not work-related then you might need to disregard their advice that could inevitably crumble and not create you.
I can’t tell you forensically which particular opinions you should be inclined to listen to, this is a gut instinct but what I can tell you, is that when your gut is telling you that the “advice” before you is not being stated with your best interests are heart, here is how to efficiently disregard it;
1. The negative comments someone makes is about them, and not you
The people who go out of their way to make hateful comments are deeply unhappy. Where else would they find this type of negativity? Would someone who is happy or building a worthwhile life take the time to do nothing more than inflicting negativity on you? The next time sour negativity comes your way, empathise with the person, they must be deeply unhappy to speak to you that way. The burden is theirs to carry, not yours.
2. Be true to yourself
If you know yourself, your journey and exactly what you stand for (and what you don’t), you are far less likely to be rattled by someone else’s opinion of you. Have confidence in everything you do. Take decisions with pride. Never underestimate the liberation that flows from being true to yourself.
3. Put things into perspective
You have one life. Just one. Can you really forgive yourself if you constantly live in the shadows? Seeking approval and being crushed with any criticism? I doubt it. Stand tall. Don’t let critique undermine your own happiness. Give it as much importance is you see fit (i.e none) and move on with your day.
4. What is the worst thing that will happen?
Think about the worst thing that will happen if we, using our own judgement, go against the advice of others, or if, having made a decision feel the raft of critique. What is the worst-case scenario? Bottom it out. It is never as bad as you think. Try to bottom out the worst-case scenario when you can. This avoids you being unnecessarily critiqued and also allows you to make more informed decisions.
5. You can’t win everyone over
Hey, not everyone has great taste. Some people won’t like you and it’s far better to risk some people not liking you than to risk a life of people-pleasing.
I know which path I would choose.