How to not care about what other people think of you

other people think

Firstly a disclaimer; sometimes what other people think is good for us to hear.

We can’t sail through life, critic free. And if we did we wouldn’t grow.

The key is to take on board other peoples opinions when it matters.

Take on what other people think when they matter.

This dynamic will typically take place between you and one other you trust or you and your boss.

But even, if it’s your boss you have to believe they are being fair. For example, if it’s too personal and not work-related then you might need to disregard their advice that could inevitably crumble and not create you.

I can’t tell you forensically which particular opinions you should be inclined to listen to, this is a gut instinct but what I can tell you, is that when your gut is telling you that the “advice” before you is not being stated with your best interests are heart, here is how to efficiently disregard it;

1. The negative comments someone makes is about them, and not you

The people who go out of their way to make hateful comments are deeply unhappy. Where else would they find this type of negativity? Would someone who is happy or building a worthwhile life take the time to do nothing more than inflicting negativity on you? The next time sour negativity comes your way, empathise with the person, they must be deeply unhappy to speak to you that way. The burden is theirs to carry, not yours.

2. Be true to yourself

If you know yourself, your journey and exactly what you stand for (and what you don’t), you are far less likely to be rattled by someone else’s opinion of you. Have confidence in everything you do. Take decisions with pride. Never underestimate the liberation that flows from being true to yourself.

3. Put things into perspective

You have one life. Just one. Can you really forgive yourself if you constantly live in the shadows? Seeking approval and being crushed with any criticism? I doubt it. Stand tall. Don’t let critique undermine your own happiness. Give it as much importance is you see fit (i.e none) and move on with your day.

4. What is the worst thing that will happen?

Think about the worst thing that will happen if we, using our own judgement, go against the advice of others, or if, having made a decision feel the raft of critique. What is the worst-case scenario? Bottom it out. It is never as bad as you think. Try to bottom out the worst-case scenario when you can. This avoids you being unnecessarily critiqued and also allows you to make more informed decisions.

5. You can’t win everyone over

Hey, not everyone has great taste. Some people won’t like you and it’s far better to risk some people not liking you than to risk a life of people-pleasing.

I know which path I would choose.


What to remember when you think you’re not good enough

good enough

It happens to all of us.

Think of this scenario. You’re instructed to do a new task. Something that will challenge your existing skillset. Great, right?


This is a typical scenario where fear of doubt creeps in. You have no exact precedence to prove to you that you’re capable of pulling this off. The first thought that creeps into your mind is “What if I’m not good enough”?

Well, this thought happens to all of us and it adds absolutely no value to our lives. The only good thing that can come from it, is the mental strength you gain from setting it aside and here’s how;

1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves with others too.

We all compare ourselves to other people.

When you look at other people through a lens of compassion rather than pitting yourself against them you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. Human beings with flaws, to be more accurate. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that other people are more qualified than you (if you’re both in similar roles). Appreciate that everyone is imperfect and if they are strong where you feel weak then you can be sure it works the other way around too. You are good enough.

2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar.

Don’t give so much power to negative thoughts. Try to recall the times you’ve made your stomach turn with anxiety over things that have never happened. Remember how pointless and unhelpful those thoughts were.

3. There is more right with you than wrong with you.

Be aware that you are more likely to zoom in on your flaws than perfections. It helps to remind yourself that there are lots of things great about you too and in fact, more right than wrong. You are good enough, you bring a unique and invaluable set of skills.

4. You need love the most when you feel weak

If you’re having negative thoughts then you need to be kind to yourself. You’re not in a great place. The only way to help yourself out of a negative thought spiral is with self-love. Start thinking about how far you’ve come, be grateful for your journey, for where you are now and start to lift yourself out from that dark cloud.

5. You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.”

To make a longlasting change you really need to accept, acknowledge and respect who you are now.

Become at peace with who you are now and your future journey will feel much more stress-free, rewarding and satisfying.

6. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than how far you have left to go.

If we only strive for perfection and success, when we fall short, we feel worthless and unsatisfied. What we need to realise is that working toward our goals, regardless of how many times we fail, is something to celebrate. The journey in itself is an accomplishment.     

7. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not sure if you can handle a new challenge, won’t help up to be the best version of yourself. Telling yourself you’re worthless won’t make you feel any more worthy.

The only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself.

You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a get easier the more you practice.

Sunday night sleep anxiety.

sunday night sleep anxiety

Yes, you’re not alone, Sunday night sleep anxiety is a thing. Research suggests that 60 percent of workers have their worst night’s sleep on Sundays.

Our Sunday night sleep anxiety is a combination of things. Most of us throw our biological clock out of whack by sleeping in late and throwing away our otherwise militant sleeping routines during the week. Alcohol and caffeine may also be culprits too. On weekends we tend to booze more and later into the night causing us to drink coffee later too.

In addition to this, stress and anxiety about the week can spike on Sunday night. It’s like your brain is well too aware that the fun will be over soon and you’ll have to start thinking about the real world of work. As the thought of Monday floats into your mind you grimace and as soon as your head hits that pillow you think of all the thing you have to do…

For some, part of what makes Sunday night sleep anxiety a different animal is that we become rebels, it’s not just that we have trouble sleeping, but we actively try to stay awake longer in a knowingly vain attempt to ward off the morning. Staying up late to catch the end of the film we are watching seems like a great idea (because it’s technically still the weekend right?) but come Monday when we are tired, miserable and needing more sleep, it’s an easily regrettable decision.

So what can we do about Sunday night sleep anxiety?

1. Don’t sleep late

Lie ins can be tempting. But try to limit them, they throw you circadian rhythm off wack and come Sunday night you’ll be sleepless.

One of the most rewarding things about healthy, consistent sleeping hours, is that it takes the bite out of waking up during the working week. Your body is prepared for that early alarm clock and you can rise out of bed pain-free.

Plus, think of all the extra fun you can have during the weekend in the more hours you are awake.

2. Get excited about Monday

Start to build excitement for your working week. You must enjoy your job or your life will be miserable – and if you don’t then it’s time to think of a career change.

Start to think about all the ways you can better yourself.

Think about what you will achieve this coming week and how you will do things better than the week before.

Start some healthy competition with yourself, it’s a sure way to add some excitement into your coming week.

3. Take some organisational time

Spending 15 minutes on a Sunday prepping your Monday can ease any anxiety you have about the next day.

Think about it, it’s better to do it in this self-imposed window, than in bed when you are trying to get some rest.

Draft a list of everything you need to do and anything else you are worried about. That little list will take limited time and is the perfect medicine to combat your Sunday night sleep anxiety..


Tips to handle emotional outbursts during periods of increased stress


I am not saying that we are usually prone to random emotional outbursts in our professional settings (at least I hope not).

However sometimes our lives can be inconsistent. We may have the misfortune of being greeted with a tough scenario at in our personal lives whilst we are working through an incredibly challenging work project.

There’s never a convenient time for stress.

If we’re going through a particularly rough time in our personal lives and then have to carry on with work as if nothing has happened then emotional outbursts are a risk.

Increased period of stress require a little damage control.

So hare some great tips to keep your emotions under wraps.

1.  Shift your focus

Simply don’t give grating issues the importance they don’t deserve.

For example, if you’re feeling inadequate or that your boss doesn’t value your opinion then stop obsessing over it.

Use all of your might to give a tiny amount of thought to an issue that might tip you over the edge.

This strategy sounds easy and it really is. The less time you spend thinking over an issue. The less of an issue it actually is.

2. Use the benefit of foreseeability

If you know your triggers avoid the situation where they might exist,

If you know that you’re most likely to get panicked or stressed when you’re late then do everything you can to be early.

If a particular person annoys you, totally avoid them (where possible) during your most vulnerable time.

3. Don’t be so hard on yourself

Striving for perfection when you have a lot on your plate is never wise. Instead, balance tough self-talk with compassion.

Pat yourself on the back for pushing on through a tough time and if you make mistakes then rectify them.

Don’t unnecessarily crucify yourself if you’re doing the best you can in rough circumstances.

That is an achievement in itself.

4. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about creating the space between your emotions and your actions.

Take time to absorb information if you find it triggering a negative response.

Think about your action. Make sure it is reasoned and motivated by good, purposeful intentions.

There is nothing wrong with being slow, or taking time if it avoids a bad response.

As a rule, ask three why’s when dealing with negative information that might warrant a negative response. When you first decide your reaction, ask ‘why?”. Then ask ‘why?’ again. If, it passes the third time you ask ‘why?’ then it’s a reasoned response if it doesn’t then it’s an emotional kneejerk which should be avoided.

Hopefully, you don’t feel like your ever at risk of an emotional outburst but, if you do this guide should hopefully avoid any reputational damage and keep your energy focused on what matters.


5 common mental errors that prevent you from good decision making

mental errors

We might like to think of ourselves as the epitome of rationality, executing utmost mental clarity in every of life’s choices. But, that is far from the truth.

If you are human you are irrational and are prone to mental errors.

The key to being rational, therefore, is to eradicate (or at least be aware of) our natural disposition towards mental errors.

To do that, we must know what they are.

So, here is a list of the most common mental errors that cloud your judgement.

1. Survivorship Bias

This is the belief in winners.

For example, “How to have your dream summer body” followed by a picture of an extremely athletic person with a body you really do want this summer. Once we absorb this article we believe that if we too drink celery water three times a day, without making any other lifestyle shifts, we will look just like the person in the picture.

The problem is, there might be 1000 people that tried this diet but didn’t get the same dream body. We just don’t hear of failures. Failure stories don’t make the headlines. Survivorship bias makes us lap up the “winner evidence” but dispel anything that contradicts it (maybe because we can’t find that information).

Survivorship bias isn’t merely saying that a strategy may not work well for you, it’s also saying that we don’t really know if the strategy works well at all. Just because it worked for some people doesn’t mean it will work for you.

2. Loss Aversion

Loss aversion refers to our tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains. Research has shown that if someone gives you £10 you will experience a small boost in satisfaction, but if you lose £10 you will experience a significantly higher loss in satisfaction.

The responses are the opposite, but they are not equal in magnitude. 

Our tendency to avoid losses can cause us to make irrational decisions, for example, hoarding our belongings. We are predisposed to feel protective of the things we own and that can lead us to overvalue these items.  For example, keeping all of the clothes we never wear (especially the ones with the labels still on) simply because it causes us too much pain to throw them away. “What a waste!” We would say. You never use them but can’t bear to part with them. That is loss aversion

Similarly, you might feel a small bit of joy when you breeze through green lights on your way to work, but you will get downright angry when the car in front, slowly chugging away at 12 MPH, misses the green light.  Losing out on the chance to make the light is far more painful than the pleasure of hitting it.

3. The Availability Heuristic.

The Availability Heuristic refers to a common mistake that our brains make by assuming that the examples which come to mind first easily are also the most important or even, the most factually correct.

For example, research by Steven Pinker at Harvard University has shown that we are currently living in the least violent time in history. This makes absolute sense if we consider most medieval dinner parties would offer dessert with a slice of serious violence. Quite simply, rates of homicide, rape, and child abuse are all falling. 

Most people are shocked when they hear these statistics. We always hear of violence how can this be true?

Welcome to the availability heuristic.

The answer is that we are not only living in the most peaceful time in history but also the best reported time in history.

We overvalue and overestimate the impact of things that we can remember and we undervalue and underestimate the prevalence of the events we hear nothing about. 

4. Anchoring

This can be seen in the form of advertising, telling you to do one thing but it’s actually sneakily persuading you to do another.

For example, business owners have found that if you say “Limit 12 per customer” then people will buy twice as much product compared to saying, “No limit.”

Perhaps the best example of anchoring can be seen with product pricing. If the price tag on a new watch is £400, you might consider it too expensive. However, if it’s sitting next to a watch for £5,000 than you’ll be convinced that it’s actually quite reasonable. And before you know it you’ve been “anchored”.

5. Confirmation Bias.

Confirmation bias refers to our tendency to search for and favour information that confirms our beliefs while simultaneously disregarding information that contradicts our beliefs. We do this all the time.

The more you believe you know something, the more you filter all information to the contrary.

So, now you know the common mental errors, try to avoid them. It’s a lot easier than it sounds but self-awareness is key!

How to successfully execute a career change


Changing careers can often be an idea looming in the back of your mind.

You think about it and think about. Never brave enough to make the move.

Then one day, you regret it, because it’s too late and you never got to turn your hand at the career of your dreams.

Well, the first lesson is that it’s never too late to change careers.

The second lesson is that you have to be ok with some risk.

Once you’ve decided that changing your career is absolutely something you must do follow these steps for a successful career change;

1. Start with the why

So many people know they hate or have outgrown their jobs, but the awareness stops beyond that.

You’ve got to get clear on the why before you start spearheading for something new. Otherwise, you could end up in the exact same position but just with a different title.

Think about these questions:

Why do I want this?

Why do I think this new career will enhance my life?

What are the risks or potential downsides?

Through this excersise, you match your expectations with any future potential role!

2. Determine the what

What will a new job or career look like for you?

What will your day to day look like?

What tasks will you be faced with?

How will you be in the role?

Also, a very important question to consider:

What is my career capital? In other words, are you going to be able to leverage your skills, your contacts, and your professional brand to make a successful transition?

You are much more likely to be successful, in any new transition, if you leverage your existing career capital. That means, try if you can, to move into roles that leverage the career capital that you’ve already built up over the years and draw upon your areas of expertise in new and creative ways.

3. Understand what you need

Once you’ve mapped out your career capital (as above). Fill in the gaps. Work out what other skills/experience you need to get the job.

Think about it from a recruiter perspective. Are you an attractive candidate? Do you need more qualifications? Different experience?

Don’t be put off if you need to learn new skills. It could simply be a matter of taking an online course in order for you to say confidently, “Yes, I know Excel” or “Yes, I can use X program.”

Even if the skils require more of your time and effort, if you really want to make the change, you will do it. However, if you are unsure now is the time to know.

You also want to be very clear on the resources you’ll need to fill the skills gap. Will you need childcare assistance? Will this effort take time away from other relationships or activities in your life? Can you have an income free period whilst you transition?

Assuming you feel you’ve unturned every stone, then it’s time to make a plan.

4. Make an Action Plan

Start with the end goal.

What’s your key goal and desired timeline?

Figure out the skills you need to acquire, people you need to meet and who you need to be. Understand each and every milestone.

Write a list of things you need to achieve and get them done. A career change is a huge amount of work. You need to be seriously productive to make the move in good time.

As you work through your tasks you’ll feel the adrenalin and excitement as you ace your steps. You are now plummeting into “newness” and everything is going to be exciting.

5. Track the Effort

Make sure you reach your goals and hold yourself accountable if you miss your own deadlines. Monitor how you’re doing and what you might need more assistance with. Have your calendar organised with everything you need to do. Take no prisoners. If you can’t be accountable to yourself, how can you be credible to anyone else?

6. Rebrand yourself

You’ll need to reconsider your USP (“unique selling point”) in light of your new chosen audience. The easier you make it for them to “get” you, the better the odds that they’ll want to know more. If your skillset is confusing or there are some gaps, there’s more chance of them skipping to the next candidate.

You can’t expect them to join the dots and figure out why you’ll be perfect for a particular role. You need to make it strikingly obvious in your CV, cover letter and LinkedIn profile why you are the best for this job.

Your competitors will look great on paper because they’ve been in that industry (or worked in similar roles) for several years. So how are you going to brand yourself in a way, to overcome their direct experience and make you stand out?

Here’s an example. Say you’ve been a criminal barrister for a long time and now you want to become a content writer. Not only will your CV show that you’re a lawyer but it will be hard for any recruiter to see why you are a good writer. What you need to do is focus on your transferable skills. So, using this example. Being a criminal barrister means never meeting your clients until the day of the trial. You are a real-life storyteller, in a wig. You have to design the most compelling story in your client’s defence (using his/her instructions of course) worthy of wowing over any jury to overlook your client’s unattractive antecedents and convince them that this time he is innocent. You have to pull on the right strings, sing to the hearts of 12 lay people you’ve never met and rely on your outstanding character judgement in the hope that your client (and all the witnesses) fulfil their roles in your drama. You have to have your finger on the pulse and understand how your words will make people feel. You need to control the narrative, at all costs. And, that is why I can create compelling content, at the drop of a hat.

7. Enlist the help of your contacts

Get your people on board. Get help where possible. Identify your needs. Make it clear how they can help you. Try to offer some value in return but if you can’t just know you’ll get them back when you can.

8. Network

You must know successful people working within that new field of interest. Don’t stress about this. People are actually more generous with sharing their knowledge than you think. especially when you show interest in them and flatter their careers.

The best way to approach is by paying a compliment or noting something that they’re doing that seems interesting. Try not to ask for favours (unless your judgement tells you its appropriate) just use them to study. See who they are and how they do their thing. This knowledge is invaluable.

Change is terrifying.

But, imagine how awful you would feel if you never took the risk.

A life of embracing change (and all consequences that flow with it) is far better than bearing the burden of regret.

So, once you muster up the courage to make the move, you have everything you need here to make sure it’s successful!

For more information read this very helpful blog on Muse by career strategist Jenny Foss.

How to stop worry about the future ruining your present


“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
– Leo F. Buscaglia

Sometimes worry can take over our lives. If we let it get out of control we can find ourselves worrying most of our day. Imagine 18 hours of worrying per day. Well, that’s like a prison sentence. Why would we want that?

Here are some great tips to stop worrying from taking over your mind.

1. Practice Mindfulness

Since worrying about the future pulls us into the future, nothing eliminates worry faster than mindfulness. Mindfulness keeps you focused on the present moment. It grounds you back to where you are supposed to be.

Take a look around. Notice and take in your surroundings. What do you see? What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you hear?

This practice is a sure way to connect with the present moment you are living in. It helps you to stop living in the worry about the future and realise that if you do, your present moments are being sacrificed.

2. Do Deep Breathing

Have you ever noticed your breathing when you are worrying? If not, the next time you are worried about future issues, focus on how your breathing has changed.

Worrying causes our breathing to become shallow.

So, by simply changing your breathing, during times of worry you can carry yourself back to positive thinking. When you deep breath, inhale through your nose and count to four. Then let the breath out through your nose to a count of four.

Do that four times.

See how you feel after.

It is transformative.

3. Express gratitude

As you are probably already aware, worry creates negative thoughts and feelings. Gratitude does the exact opposite. Give yourself a boost of positivity by being grateful for what you do have.

Since your brain cannot simultaneously project positive and negative thoughts at the same time, gratitude eradicates your worry. Its also incredibly fast to achieve.

Really quickly begin listing at least three things or more that you are grateful for.

Before you know it, the feeling of gratitude will replace the negative feeling of worry

4. Lean Into “What Ifs”

Rather than try to ignore the worry, lean into by asking yourself the following question, “What if what I’m worrying about were to actually happen?”

Once you have your answer then ask yourself this follow-up question, “Then what would happen?” Keep asking the follow-up question until you have run out of “then what’s”.

Face the real facts, not the exacerbated version of the same facts that worry offers you.

5. Take Back Control

What do you have control over? What can you fix? What can you do to prevent whatever you are worrying about from happening?

For many of us, worry creates a feeling of being out of control and not safe. When the reality is, we are in control.

If what we are worrying about is totally out of our control then recognise that and don’t think about it again.

If your anxiety is something you can physically manage then it’s time to take action or drop it from the worry list.

Either way, you are in control.

6. Is it even important?

Worry serves as a great benchmark to let us know what is important and what is not. When you are worried about something, tune-in and figure out if it’s even important.

How important is what you are worrying about on a scale of 1-10? If you gave it a 5 or less, ask yourself this question,” Since this thing I’m worried about isn’t super important, what is really driving the worry?” Get to the root of the problem.

If you gave it a 5 or higher, then it’s time to turn worry into a motivator to start taking action.

  • Create awareness around what the worry is costing you.
  • Use one or more of the worry techniques above.
  • Remember that you are not alone when it comes to worrying (we all do it).

So, there you have it. By following the steps above you’ll be able to have a more worry-free life so that you can prevent worry from ruining your precious days and start living more in the present moment.

Do you have high emotional intelligence?

emotional intelligence

Decades of research proves that emotional intelligence is critical to success. 90% of top performers have high emotional intelligence.

How to work out whether you have high or low EQ, isn’t easy. However, Dr Travis Bradberry co-author of the leading book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 collected data from a million-plus people tested in order to identify the behaviours that are the hallmarks of a high EQ.

What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.

1. A robust emotional vocabulary

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately depict them as they occur. In fact, only 36% of people can do this. Misunderstood emotions lead to frustrations and even actions that we regret.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so.

2. They are curious about people

Emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is from their underlying empathy. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

3. They embrace change

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They are the leaders of innovation. They understand that success means embracing change and feeling the change of the wind.

4. They are aware of their strengths and weaknesses

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand their emotions they are self-aware about what their weaknesses and strengths are. They keep tabs on their frustrations and work harder every day to be a better person.  Having a high EQ means you take full advantage of your strengths while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

5. They are excellent judges of character

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness. This is the ability to read other people, know how to manage them and empathise with them.

6. They are difficult to offend

People with high EQ have a high sense of who they are and can’t easily be knocked down. Don’t get me wrong they are open to constructive criticism but anything else is water off a ducks back.

Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.

7. They don’t hold grudges

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Emotionally intelligent people recognise that grudges are simply an inability to let negative experiences go. The weightless experience of letting go of grudges is a clear path towards future success.

8. They neutralise toxic people

High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they must deal with a toxic person they approach the situation rationally, they don’t let their emotions take leadership. They try to empathise even pity the toxic person but the one thing they don’t do is give them any importance.

The best self-awareness exercises to aid your success


“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?” – Marcus Aurelius

Your inner self governs everything you do. Those frustrations you feel come from deep within. Your inner self can either afflict you or be the string in your bow of success.

Self-awareness is one of the most important skills for success.

Your behaviour and responses are governed by internal mental processes. Self-awareness uncovers any destructive thought-patterns and/or unhealthy habits.

If you find yourself lashing out, or frustrated then perhaps it’s time to get your self-awareness in check. Even if you feel fine, self-awareness adds indispensable value to your life and without it, you can’t possibly hope to be the best version of youself.

Here are the best exercises for self-awareness.

1. The three why’s

Before acting on a decision, ask yourself “Why?” Then follow up your reasoning with another  “Why?” And then a third. If you can find three good reasons to pursue something, you’ll have clarity and be more confident in your actions. Don’t go through your day being a bag of unreasoned emotions. Think before you act. It pays dividends.

Self-awareness is about understanding your motives and assuring yourself that your actions are reasoned.

2. Expand your emotional vocabulary

When we can’t explain how we feel we feel frustrated. Emotions hold a lot of power towards our actions. Putting your feelings into words has a therapeutic effect on your brain. Here is a great list of “feeling words” to help with describing and labelling your emotions.

3. Take responsibility for your flaws

Nobody is perfect. Being aware of your flaws means accepting responsibility for the things you do wrong. It’s very easy to criticise others but we can’t do that without turning the mirror on ourselves. We wouldn’t want to be hypocrites now, would we? Self-improvement only happens once you recognize a flaw. Create a habit of acknowledging your mistakes, rather than making excuses.

4. Practice saying ‘no’ to yourself

One of the most valuable aspects of self-awareness is self-control. Stopping yourself from doing things that will hurt you or others is a major part of what keeps us successful.

The ability to say “no” to yourself to put off short-term gratification for the long-term gain. It’s a core life-skill. The more you practice saying “no” to small daily challenges, the better you can withstand major temptations.

5. Monitor your self-talk

Be very aware of how you communicate to yourself. If you pass off your achievements as luck and crucify yourself after failures you are lacking in confidence and your self-talk could be making it worse. You need to put an immediate stop to it. How can you expect to be successful if your main supporter (you) doesn’t even believe in you?

A little bit of negative self-talk can spiral into stress and depression.

Balance tough talk with self-compassion. That’s a real winners mentality.

6. Improve your body language awareness

Watching yourself on video can be a cringeworthy experience, but awareness of your body language, posture, and mannerisms improves your confidence.

Slouching, or taking a “low-power-pose” increases cortisol and feeds low self-esteem, while standing tall or taking a “high-power-pose” stimulates testosterone and improves your performance. Using hand gestures helps with articulating your thoughts and affects how people respond to you.

7. Ask for constructive feedback, regularly

We all have blind spots in our thinking patterns and behaviours. Asking for regular constructive feedback cuts through any incorrectly perceived characteristics or blind spots we might have about ourselves. It gives us a rare glimpse of how other people see us and it’s invaluable to our progress.

8. Break visceral reactions

Last but by no means least. A person without self-awareness runs on auto-pilot and responds with knee-jerk reactions. Self-awareness allows you to assess situations objectively and rationally, without letting your actions overcome your chances of success.

Add space between your thoughts and actions this is the key to a life of self-awareness.

How to practice patience


We all want instant gratification. We have all forgotten about patience.

In today’s fast-paced society where everything can be at our fingertips in seconds, waiting seems like such an outdated concept. Except that it’s not. It’s arguably one of the most important characteristics of a successful career and life. We can’t get immediate results in the gym and we can’t become successful overnight.

The most important things require patience.

So in light of that truth, maybe it’s time we slow down and practice, patience. It is, after all, a necessity.

1. Start practising patience

The best way to practice patience is to make yourself wait. Sounds hard but it does pay off. A study published in Psychological Science shows that waiting for things actually makes us happier. Start with something small like waiting a few extra minutes to eat your breakfast or eating your dinner, then move on to something bigger. You will start to train yourself to be better at patience.

2. Remove from your day what isn’t important 

We all have things in our lives that take time away from what is important. So, one way to get more of what we want quicker is to remove the things that are not important. Take a few minutes and evaluate your week. Look at your schedule from the moment you wake up to when you sleep. Take out two or three things that are time wasting but take time. This can be anything from scrolling on social media to spending time worrying.

3. Know your triggers 

Sometimes certain tasks can trigger our impatience. If we know we need to spend more time on something due to our lack of knowledge or skills we are more likely to get frustrated when it takes more time. It is better to be mindful of what makes us impatient. Write them down. This will help you deal with your impatience before it strikes you unexpectedly. Impatience is ok, it just means you really want something. Learn to accept it, deal with it and don’t let it remove your focus from what is important.

4. Breathe 

Most of all, just stay calm and focus on your breathing. It sounds simple but it is often overlooked. Taking slow deep breaths can help calm the mind and body. This is the easiest way to help ease any impatient feelings you are immediately experiencing. If you want to take it a step further

If breathing doesn’t help I find taking a walk to clear your head The point is to find some time for you each day to let go of all the frustrations.

Lifes frustrations have a way of creeping in on us without us realising. Give importance to your mental health. Give time to letting go of your stressors.


PCA Law (the Personal Communications Academy For Lawyers) are the legal sector’s specialist providers of conversation-based experiential training products

We are the only Personal Communication Consultancy in the world to work exclusively with lawyers...


We are happy to come in to talk with you at your offices, wherever you’re based, so please contact us at: